April 2010
12 posts
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Why do I keep falling in a huge like of the wrong people????!
Usually I would just seduce you. But this time it’s a little different - you are my teacher and we work together. And I know this is a work I’ll be wanting to do for a long time, so I don’t want to fuck up relationships. And I don’t want to “be together” or something, just sex and passion. And I’m afraid thees things doesn’t go together. So...
If there won’t anything more than just an amazing flirt between me and my teacher, I’ll let you call me “Barbie” and dress up in pink clothes! I just know there is something going on, you can feel it physically.
You know, what’s the shittiest thing? I’m starting to believe in love. But don’t confuse it with relationships and all that couple thing.
Chemistry is so fucking wonderful! I’ve only felt it twice. Sparkles aall around when we kiss! (that’s a shame that we don’t anymore)
I would like to believe in faith, but I don’t. I know everything is just the consequences of what we’ve done. And that scares the crap out of me.
I look at your pictures and I realize that it doesn’t matter how long I haven’t met you - I still feel that warm and horrifying feeling each time I see u.
March 2010
69 posts
Know what? I’m fucking proud of myself! I saw you, I sat next to you, but I didn’t do a thing. I would lie if I said I didn’t feel a shit, but, for the first time in my life I was strong enough to look through you with no passion in my eyes. When you walked out the room, I didn’t follow. When you saw me in his arms, I acted like I’m the happiest person in the world....
Some of the crowd think I’m super happy because I’m popular and guys dig me.
Some of the crowd think I’m lonely because of the same reason.
But I truly believe I just love to fuck and have fun. I’m young, sweeties, I wanna enjoy every single thing, what comes in my life.
Three days without sex. And I’m starting to be very flirtatious with all my male teachers. Suddenly they’re not old anymore, they’re sexually mature… oh, what’s happening?
I broke my own hart, but at least I know you will be happy some day.
I left them both.
I don’t feel lonely anymore. I drink a lot, I go home with strangers, I enjoy fucking the pain away.
Hell, yeah, I slept with both of them!
And now? Now I need none.
Fuck! What the hell s wrong with me? Mentally ill or something? I hate what I’m doing to myself choosing all those men. My type? Tall, strong, dark short hair, out-of-bed look, .. oh yeah, mean, weak, not ever wanting to be in my crazy life long enough to notice it’s not really that shitty.
Me: He saw us.
You: Oh, shit!
(and why the hell I thought you don't care???)
You’re so much weaker than I thought you were. You will never fight for me and that, my darling, explains everything.
I know you want me. The problem is I don’t know how long I will manage to keep it this way. You look at me, when I kiss him, I’m secretly hoping for you to follow, when I go out of the room.
Why do I even bother promising myself I won’t ever let you touch me again? I still know you will, ad I still know I’ll love it.
